Monday, June 8, 2009

The Drama of the West Side Kroger

Oh, the West Side Kroger, you're so close to our dwelling

It's so tempting to stop and shop you, oh my, my mind must be swelling

The storefront's a mess, My decision starts to digress

What was I thinking? I was hoping, I must confess

Oh how I love your parking lot's miniature size

And how that elusive shopping cart is my fender's demise

The cars parked in the fire lane are breaking the law

Nobody seems to care, though, you only add to the Kroger hoopla

Your fruit is never fresh, your vegetables are always lacking

Around every corner, you wonder who might be packing

Your deli is shady and your beer section sucks

That's no fault of your own, I blame those legislature schmucks

I hope you've planned to stay for a bit, the checkout lines go on for miles

It's a good thing there's always free entertainment, somebody's gotta make my dumb ass smile

It's the dude in front of me rocking a mullet, or the lady at the cash register yelling for friends

That's right, you guessed it, the good times at the West Side Kroger never end!!!


  1. hahaha! that's awesome. kroger sucks no matter WHERE it is.... even when it goes by other names (like Ralph's here in CA).

  2. Welp, LC. I was wonderin' what happened to you after your all time most substantive One Word Wed. blog a-week ago. Glad yr back. Sad you are recognizing imperfections of yr neighborhood grocery store, however. My experience is down south as you know. That's where Kroger is in a run for it's economic life with Publix (HQ'd in Fla) and Whole Foods. Man, I thought Publix was the best grocery store of all times when I first went in one. Then, Whole Foods came along and blew even Publix away. Both stores don't just have a store manager, they have department managers who actually do something including keeping their areas clean and neat and qualitative. Publix is comparatively priced with Kroger; W.F. is pretty comparatively expensive. You do get your money's worth, however. They have wine selections as good as anythere is. You ever tried Hogue Riesling from Washington State? (Or any Hogue wine for that matter.) Better than "Califonia" my opine. Ms. 653 talked manager of the wine dept in the "new" M-town Kroger into getting some shipped in. That example may be a key. Go see the manager of the C'town store and tell'em you expect better. Write the management of Kroger (Home office!) and tell them. Hells bells, send yr blog to Kroger; plus, send it to yr local police precinct and tell 'em to start providing the security they are paid to provide. You got the skills you know. Tell'em you are mad as hell and you ain't gonna take it anymore! Maintain yr stoicity, however. Later.....

  3. It is a shame we don't have a Whole Foods around here, Mr. 653 (or as my wife calls it "Whole Paycheck). I'd even be happy with a Trader Joe's. And actually, Ryan, the Krogers in Morgantown are really nice. There's even a brand new one that has a substantial section of organic food.

    As I was walking into the West Side Kroger yesterday after work I thought to myself, "I wonder who's accountable for this place. Do they have district managers around here that overlook it just because it's always so busy?" It just seems like there's no accountability... nobody really cares about it. And you're right, Mr. 653, I should write a letter. I think I will!

  4. yeah i've been in some that are very nice i agree. i just meant after living in cincinnati for 5 years where the company is based and hearing about all of their awful business practices it doesn't surprise me. two of the worst grocery stores i've ever been in are right in the shadow of their corporate offices downtown. pretty lame.

  5. Wonderful, clever writing! Tom says there's a nice Foodland on Smith St. or somewhere over there. Or just come to our KC Kroger. Yes, you'd think the manager would have pride or the district manager would not be amused.

  6. Agreed, Ryan, that's pretty lame.

    The Foodland on Smith Street is a thousand times better than Kroger. Kroger tricks me, however. It's just so easy and I always find myself thinking "it can't be as bad as last time."

    Oh well.